After returning from a rollicking evening

involving apple cider (don’t ask), “pumpkin chucking” (a thing here, apparently), and shooting paint balls at zombie-outfitted teens, all in the name of “fire-safety fund-raising,”(??) it occurred to me that the latter could be used as means to generate charity revenue all year long, not just on Satan’s birthday (I’m looking at you, Jack Chick).

Hell, you wouldn’t even need the zombie angle. Or even the paint-balls, for that matter. I mean, I’m sure there are some people who would jump at the chance to stand in line for over an hour and fork over twenty-five bucks just for the chance to just throw shit at teenage boys. (And by “some people,” I mean everyone. All the time. Forever.)

Kind of like drafting their useless asses into the military without that pesky “possibly having to die” onus. Win win situation.

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