So, if I give John a sleeve for his tablet as a Christmas gift

Is that a Valise Navidad?

Okay, time to come clean. Christmas classic aside,  “someone” was phoning this one in in.

It was as if Jose Feliciano awoke one morning (or at least he assumed it was morning) and decided he wanted to make shitloads of holiday cash off of the polyglot-immune who took Spanish 101 in freshman year.

“Feliz Navidad. Repeat, repeat. Something something about New Year’s. Back to point A. Now maybe translate for the extremely stupid. And okay then. That’s a rap. Just put it on continuous loop and collect residual checks until I die.”

And now, because of this freakin’ song, gringos and white trash everywhere fancy themselves “bilingual,” even  though they still can’t  figure out the “prospero ano” part, so ultimately just end up mumbling past everything until the chorus.

Oy vey.


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