DrNate: Ok, Ok…I’ll do the stupid story…yeesh.
kscully tosses Nate a NateTreat(tm).
kscully: Nate: Nah, rest up tonight. Who wants to run?
DrNate: From Mew? I’d be glad to, any time.
Wyldling: I’s run TO Mew, Nate :p
kscully: Mew: Just get behind him in a car and steer him towards a marathon with a cash prize. We could split the money.
DrNate: That makes one of us,
Wyld. DrNate is just kiddin. Everyone put down the farm impliments.
Mew gets out a Dallas phonebook.
It was a dark and stormy night.
Wyldling: It’s set 100 years after the Nuclear Wars….: Is this mic on? Hello? Hello?
Wyldling: Want me to run???
DrNate: Wait wait wait…More than one Nuclear war? I don’t buy this.
Mew feels her IQ drop significantly.
DrNate: Mew: Well, not SIGNIFICANTLY.
Wyldling: Nate: there were two ’cause mankind didn’t learn the first time….
DrNate: Fine then…A Hundred years…What kind of characters are we suppossed to be playing?
Wyldling: Furries, Anime Characters, Nuclear mutants, post-apocolyptic heroes ( Mad Max Types), or anything you can dream up….
DrNate: I want to be a super strong, sword wielding bozo, who believes he is from a different dimension, here on a holy crusade, the details of which are never fully outlined, and (when revealed in bits) seems utterly arbitrary.
kscully: Nooo! Not him! 😛
Wyldling: Nate: Ahhh, I see you want to be He-Man 🙂
kscully: Or Ator or many of the large pec-ed hero types. But if ya play Ator, Nate, ya gotta promise to wear a bra, ok?
Wyldling: Wyld as that boring old guy….
Mew as….nevermind. Mew: Hey!
DrNate: I think I’ll steal Wyld’s idea, and call myself “Me-Han”.
Mew: I’ll be Mewtant.
DrNate: If you want to be sick: Me-Han and the Masturs of the Universe.
Wyldling is now known as GameMstr.
kscully: Wyld: Don’t you want a character too?
DrNate is now known as Me-Han.
Me-Han holds up his Phallic Symbol.
Me-Han: By the power of Greybeard! Ooh! Can I watch! =P~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mew gets out theDallas Phone Directory.
kscully: Mmm…go off…
GameMstr: You all are on a mtn. top answering a strange siren’s call that only each of you can hear….
Me-Han: OOh! Mew is gonna call me up and go off over the phone! Cool!
Me-Han feels so special.
GameMstr: Ahemm Gm talking here!!
kscully: Talk on.
Mewtant: Nate: I could come over with the whip in person…
kscully: Mew: What exactly has he done wrong and how can I do it too?
Me-Han: Now now…please don’t tease me like that! You know how lonely I am!
GameMstr: Oooh…Oooh come to Washington with a whip personally…..please!
postmike walks around in circles…avoiding the camcorder.
GameMstr (back in character): Ahemm. Gm talking here!!
kscully sighs, drools, and then snaps back to reality…or a reasonable facsimile.
kscully: We’re waiting, O mighty GM…say somethin!
GameMstr: All around you swirl visions of the possible futures for each of you….And visions of the Evil gathering in the northlands.
kscully: Unless you’re north of that, which makes the Evil in the southlands…
GameMstr: Each of you has had dreams of a journey to this place….Now each of you, after long journeys from your individual homelands you are here….What do you do?
Me-Han: Oh! I forgot the other part!
Me-Han shoots his sword at his bunny, turning it into BattleBunny ™ (Only $9.95 at your local Toys R Us).
GameMstr: Han: What part?
Me-Han is more than a little relieved, now.
kscully: Eww…Wish I didn’t have to watch him relieving himself…dang. Barbarians…
Mewtant: Don’t shoot your bunny.
postmike: No animals were harmed in the IRC’ng of this story.
GameMstr: BattleBunny (now in battle armor) Roars!
Me-Han: But, it turns her into BattleBunny! BattleBunny!
kscully: “What, behind the rabbit? it is the rabbit!”
GameMstr: Mew, ks what are you ppl doing?
Mewtant: I am pondering.
kscully is lounging and picking at fingernails with a dagger…
Me-Han: Who all knew that PrinceWhathisface was He_man?
Me-Han: Man at arms, the Sorceress, and Orko? That all?
GameMstr: Then out of nowhere, three beautful women appear on the stone table in the center of the Mtn top….
Mewtant: And all three fall in love immediately with Mew…
kscully: Ah, the babe magnet. That’ll come in handy.
GameMstr: (All three of them speak in unision):
GM: “We have brought you all here to see the darkness that envelops your world…
Mewtant: I saw this on “Xena” the other night.
GameMstr: Something like it, mebee 😉
GameMstr: But not this story…
Me-Han looks for Leela and Orkko.
postmike needs food.
GameMstr: You must act quickly to save your world, you must seek the Four Talismans only then can you defeat it….
kscully: Four talismans, stop impending doom, yatta yatta yatta…same old deal.
kscully: What do we get besides a sense of well-being?
GameMstr: Women, Booze, money, and a big screen tv….
kscully: Oh. Now these are Mysterious Quest Beginners I can deal with!
Mewtant: I have enough women, thank you…
Me-Han: Mew: Share some with Me-Han, Masteur of the Universe!
Mewtant: Nate: Sure, have a party.
GameMstr: Then you can have Male slaves then.
Mewtant: Got those, too.
Me-Han: Now I can be Me-Han! Mutual Masteur of the Universe.
Mewtant: Me-Hanos-The Glands of Nate.
Me-Han: No kidding!
kscully: Urgh…pun damage…
Me-Han: This Nuclear winter is really getting the juices going.
GameMstr: Then you can have some 500 dollar gift certificates from the store of your choice then, Mew.
Mew cannot be bribed with material things.
GameMstr: Mew: LOL LOL!!!
Me-Han: She needs Immaterial things, like Immortal souls and stuff.
Mewtant: Yeah, that will do.
Mew looks at Nate.
Mewtant: Virgins and stuff.
GameMstr: An exasperated voice from the heavens speaks:
GM: Fine, fine. We’ll negotiate when this is over.
kscully: All right. Let’s go kick the butts of Darkness, then.
Mew resheaths her sword.
GameMstr: Now go, seek the first talisman in the city of those who worship the Cat Goddess. Uh Cat-like Goddess …. The three women disappear, leaving a map….
Me-Han: Is the map on a piece of paper?
Mewtant: I thought it was more their style to burn it into the skin of the purest one among us…
GameMstr: No it’s on a piece of cloth….
GameMstr: The map is an Iron-on transfer…. Me-Han: Rats. I was hoping for a piece of paper, upon which I could write some Hikau.
Mewtant: Yeah, but imagine having to ask Nate to Me-Han to bend over each time we had to check for directions?
kscully: *shudder* Makes my fur stand on end. We’d never get anywhere.
Me-Han hops on BattleBunny, and looks for his evil arch nemesis, Epidermator.
GameMstr: Me-Han: He’s not here, but ya might meet him in da future….
kscully: Wouldn’t it be annoying to have a good arch nemesis? You couldn’t go and bash them without a really good excuse.
Mew notes GM is from Jersey City.
postmike: 07… Me-Han: Unless you were evil to begin with.
postmike eats some ice cream.
GameMstr: You all hear voices from the heavens speaking Well….hurry up….if ya don’t we can’t finish the game….
GM he’s not doing any thing….ETC.
kscully: Well, that’d do it, yeah. But not with a whole good/good thing going on. it’d be a real drag to the epic struggle between enemies over the freedom of the people…
Me-Han: Mew can be my good arch-nemesis, if she wants.
Me-Han gets on his battle bunny, and starts following the map.
kscully listens to the voices and waits for everyone to pack up and hit da road.
GameMstr: *The map flies into ks’s hands…
Mewtant: That’s kewl.
Me-Han: Since I can’t read much, I stop and ask for directions a lot, receiving lots of compliments on my battle bunny.
kscully: Hmm…Seems as though I’ve been gifted with a blessing from on high and all that stuff…
GameMstr: You follow the map to the city of…..Babmewlon….!
kscully reads the faintly glowing map, keeping an eye on the dizzy barbarian…
GameMstr: You follow the map to the city of…..Babmewlon….!
Mewtant: “Hey, stranger. Nice bunny.”
kscully: Breath, man, breath. Get some oxygen to that brain. I know it might take it a while to find it, but it’ll get there. Ah, the fifth city of this type.
Me-Han: “Thank you, kind lady. It is Me-Han’s BattleBunny(tm).” Available at Toys R Us, for $9.95″ Me-Han: Why is the city spining?
GameMstr: Above the gates you see the statue of their Goddess….Patricia-She Who Mews in the Darkness…OOOO
kscully: ‘Cause you went all faint when you tried to pronounce a backwards R, ya musclebrain.
GameMstr is now known as Guard.
Mewtant: “All Hail Mighty Patricia!” Nathan! Hail!”
kscully: Umm…hail, sleet, rain, all that stuff.
postmike: The mail must go through…oh.
Guard: A female guardswoman speaks.
GM(Guard): “Ahh, I see that you also worship The Great Mewster….”
Me-Han: “No! No hail!”
kscully: “You got it. Now have we got us some passes inside, or do we have to make a show and get dragged inside?
Guard: “Silence, Male!…”
postmike hears “Hail, Hail” by Pearl Jam in his head Guard: “
Mew: Are you and your males here for the ceremony?”
Me-Han plays with his phallic symbol.
Mewtant: “That’s nice,
Nate.” Guard: “If you are please leave your weapons here. And go in.”