Chapter Five

The Sound of Mew Sick
It was a dark and stormy night.

DrNate: “Ah! Oh” 

Patricia looks at Nate.

DrNate: “RUN FOR IT!” 

Nate realizes that his feet have suddenly become frozen.

Wyldling: “Ah.”

DrNate: “Come on, chicken! Face me! You got no guts, hiding behind your chickenshit magic.”

Patricia continues to stare at the hapless Nate with red glowing eyes.

DrNate: “I said RUN, GUYS! Go!” 

Wyldling turns and prepares to defend Nathan.

DrNate: “You ain’t nothin. Sure, you can kill me with a thought, But what am I? One poor, unarmed defenseless human.”. 

{MiTcHelL says something cheese-like. DrNate: “Gonna kill the poor human? Make ya feel a lot better about all your big shortcomings?”

 Wyldling bares his teeth and unsheaths his claws…grrr.! 

Mew turns toward the pretty kitty.

Mew: “What a nice boy you are! You is so pwetty! Yes, you is!”

DrNate: “No, it’s me you want, you little nothing. You hate me.”

Wyldling growls, and then his claws and fangs begin to glow a neon blue…

Mew turns toward Nate in anger.

Mew: “I would NEVER hurt an animal! EVER!”

DrNate” Good! Now we’re cooking! Just wipe me out. Come on! You know how good it’d make ya feel to completely and utterly overpower this here little hapless babe in the woods.”

Wyldling: “How I know that you gonna hurt Natefriend?!”

Mew: “And you sir, are being very rude to me.” You have been ever since you came and intruded upon my home.” *

Patricia reaches down and scratches the pooka onna head.

Wyldling steps between Patricia and Nate, yowling at her. 

Mew Advancing toward Nate, she raises a hand high into the air.

DrNate: “And you know what? I wasn’t rude first. You started it.” 

kscully appears in a puff of smoke, directly between everyone..

kscully” “Oh, hullo there, folks. I’ve been scouting ahead, you see…” *

Wyldling uncontrollably purrs.

kscully: “Oh,. I say. What’s all this then?”

Mew: “That’s a good boy.”

DrNate: “And your crap doesn’t scare me. If you don’t kill me, those vampires will.”

Wyldling rolls on his back compulsively.

Mew: “Now, I am so disappointed in you, Nathan.”

Patricia moves closer toward the frozen Nate.

Wyldling: “I’s soory Natefriend me’s can’t help it.”

kscully: “Now I step away from the group but an hour or two, and look what happens…tsk tsk tsk…”

Patricia stares right into Nate’s eyes.

Wyldling: “Artyfriend: Help Nate.”

Mew: “I could have killed you long ago, my friend. A long time ago.”. What is wrong??”  

kscully waves his hands with a grand gesture, and casts Calm upon the group…

Mew: “Too afraid to talk now?” Arthur knows who and what I am.”

DrNate: “I thought I was frozen.”

Mew: “Your legs are frozen, sir. But not due to me.”

{MiTcHelL: “That spell is ineffectual on two kinds of creatures: the undead and CHEESE.”

DrNate: “Oh. I’m sorry. My mistake.” 

Wyldling shakes off the horrible spell and leaps on to Patricia’s back, digging in his claws!!

Mew: “You stepped into some mud, you fool.” ARGGGGHH!!” 

Patricia falls back.

DrNate: “Well, you haven’t killed me, have you? And you know what? I wish you just would. You’ve made it obstinately clear that you are my superior in every way, and need me far less than I need you.”

Mew rises. 

kscully has calmed rocks in his day…

kscully: “Ye shall not tear this group apart!”

Mew: “My patience is wearing very thin.

DrNate: “Bad kitty! We’re talking here! Please leave the lady be!”

Wyldling yowls in Rage!! 

{MiTcHelL sprouts stumpy cheese-legs. 

kscully casts Calm again, so that it applies to all present. And watches them settle down, especially the four-legged party members.

Mew: “Arthur, please change that cheese lump back into a man while I explain to Nathan here what is going on.”

kscully: *sigh* “Very well, but I do thing that his appearance suits him.”

{MiTcHelL: ” Leave me be, I’ll grow arms and weapons here in a minute.”

kscully: “Think, rather.” 

Wyldling shifts to pooka form.

{MiTcHelL: “Who asked you, wiz boy?” 

Turning toward Arthur, Patricia snaps:

Mew: “Must you always resort to spells?” Nathan, you condemn me for my appearance. Is that it?”

kscully: “‘Tis what I’m good at, Milady.”

DrNate: “No, I condemn you for your attitude.”

Wyldling: “No hurt Natefriend, I stop you.”

Mew: “You are a bad kitty!”

DrNate: “No, Wyld. Hold on a minute, will you, please?”

Mew: “Nathan, you come to me uninvited, tell me that you wish me to help you kill my sisters and expect me not to feel some amount of stress? Yes, it’s true. I am one of them. Or was.  

kscully nods…”Though she has parted ways with them, it was not an easy separation, and it still pains her.”

Mew: “Why do you think I live here all alone, out in these woods?”

{MiTcHelL: “To capture and bake small, lost children?”

DrNate: “No, actually, I don’t recall ever asking for your help. And, you know, you haven’t been totally honest with us at any point here. Everything you say is shrouded…why is it that only I have to be honest, and thus get all the grief?”

Wyldling: “How you knowing, Arrtie??”

Mew: “My cats. Victims I managed to save. Too late perhaps, but someday the spell may be reversed.” Because you have the privilege of having a human soul, Nathan.

kscully: “I was there. In my younger days, it was. She never ages, of course.”

Wyldling licks Patricia’s wound to heal it.

Mew: “Save for the cheese back there, you are the only one here in possession of such a thing.”

Wyldling: “I’s soorry WasVampThing:(”

Mew: “You should cherish it, Nathan. And all that it represents.”

Nathan hangs his head.

Wyldling: “Yup, I’s FaeFolk.”

{MiTcHelL: “Yeah, Nate. You’re the only one besides me who can be messed with at the whim of others and have no recourse.”

Mew: “These cats, as I was saying. All young girls, all taken from their families way too young. It was too much for me.”

Nathan: “I’m sorry I opposed you every step of the way, Patricia. This isn’t really me. I’m just so on edge.”

{MiTcHelL: “Enjoy it.” 

Mew stares blankly at the cheese.

{MiTcHelL starts to mold.

Nathan: “I promise, I’ll stop riding you…but you have to promise to stop being so darned coy.”

Wyldling: “I’s sooo soorry for hurty you PatThing…:(

Mew: “It pains me to think that my sisters have taken another young woman.”

Patricia pats the pooka on the head. 

Wyldling cries in sorrow.

Mew: “This is going to be difficult. They are evil by their own design. We are not all this way. Still, they are my only connection to my past.”.

kscully searches in his pouches.

kscully: “I believe I have just the thing. Plus with your healing abilities, you’ll be better by tomorrow, without a scratch.”

Mew: “It’s very easy for you to judge, Nathan. You do not have to deal with the things I have every day.” For centuries. Arthur knows.”

Wyldling: “I’s fighty them dead for NateThing, I claw them good, I bite their heads off…” 

kscully brings forth a jar of green ointment.

kscully: “Ah, just the thing.”

Wyldling makes clawing gestures in the air….

kscully carefully treats the wounds.

Mew: “No, Wyld. You might get hurt.”

Nathan: “I’m in no position to judge anyone. I just wish we could all get along nicely.”

Mew: “This is Nathan’s’s fight.”

Nathan: “Commere, kitty!” 

Nathan holds out his arms.

Wyldling: “I’s fight, they’s baad, so I fight!” 

Wyldling hugs Nathan. *

Patricia approaches Nate.

Mew: “When he needs you, you will know.

Nathan hugs Wyld back.

Nathan: “I’m not gonna let ya get hurt, ok?”

Mew: “Look at me, Nathan.” 

Nathan lifts his head. 

Patricia stares at Nate with red, glowing eyes.

Mew: “Look long and hard at me, for this is what you must face.”

Wyldling: “Me can help, Me’s got healing tongue and fighty, fight magicks..” 

Mew: “Only worse. Much worse. Times three.”

{MiTcHelL: “Visine(tm) gets the red out.”

Nathan: “You know I’m willing. Dying for someone I love; that’s the only way to go.”

Wyldling looks at the walking cheese.

Mew: “You are up to this?”

{MiTcHelL: “Yuk it up, laughing boy.”

kscully: “I could return you to your former state, cheese.” warrior. Do you truly wish to remain as you are?” 

Wyldling picks up the cheese and carries him to Arthur.

Mew: “They may have killed her already, you know. Or turned her into a cat.”

Wyldling: “Fix cheese, now!”

Mew: “Or worse.”

{MiTcHelL: “Wouldn’t you?”

{MiTcHelL flicks a spore at the smart aleck wizard.”

Mew: “If she is a cat, well, Wyld might enjoy that.”

Wyldling: “Arthur: Fix cheese, please.”

{MiTcHelL: “No rush.”

Mew: “Yes, that talking cheese is a bit disturbing.”

kscully: “Fix cheese? I can, but only if he wishes to change.”

{MiTcHelL: “Try living it, sister.”

kscully: “Changing back is much more difficult.”

{MiTcHelL: “Kiss my pasty white rump, I ain’t gonna beg .

Wyldling: “Okie:)”

{MiTcHelL: “I didn’t ask for it.”

Mew: “One word, cheeseboy. Fondue.”

Nathan: “Patricia, I expect to die. And I’ll never be ready for that. But, I know what needs to be done and I accept it. I just have to make sure my last few hours on earth are peaceful.”

{MiTcHelL: “I been worse.”

Nathan: “Peaceful.”

Wyldling: “Is not Me change all the time…” 

kscully thinks for a while, then hits upon an idea!

Wyldling: “I help you Nathan, Okie.”

Nathan: “Ok, Wyld. But you promise me that if you change your mind, that you’ll get clear, ok? I don’t want anyone else sacrificing themselves.”

Patricia tends to her wounds. *

postmike yawns.

Wyldling: “Okie NateThing:)”

kscully: “Oh, Mitchell, Cheese Warrior, I may give unto you this gift. That by the light of the moon, ye may assume thine cheese form at will, and during the day, or when not under the light of the moon, thine own natural shape prevails.”

{MiTcHelL: “That’ll work.” 

kscully makes gestures over the cheese, and gifts him with a mystic pretzel amulet.

{MiTcHelL: “Not sure if I’ll ever ‘will’ to become cheese tho.”

Mew: “Welcome back, my friend. Arthur, can you do something about his aroma?”

{MiTcHelL: “It’s just bratwurst..Oh, the CHEESE smell?”

kscully: “I’m afraid that’s natural… ”

Mew: “Ah well.”

Wyldling: “Much thankings Nathan, we’s buddies yes?” 

Nathan nods and hugs Wyldling.

{MiTcHelL: “Now, look Mister Wizard, we need us an understanding.” 

Wyldling hugs Nathan back.

{MiTcHelL: “All you magical types.”

kscully: “Yes?”

Mew: “We’re going to need another Timmy…”

{MiTcHelL: “Next time you change me without my consent, just leave me that way.”

Mew: “I hate to interrupt this lover’s quarrel, but I’m bleeding profusely here.”

kscully: “You should have been perfectly fine, until you were accidentally eaten.”

{MiTcHelL: “Cos it’s liable to get ugly when I can pull a weapon, and when I say ugly, I know whereof I speak.”

Mew: “And if I lose to much, I’m going to need to replace some, if you follow me..”

kscully: “No, it seems to have stopped. That salve does wonders. It just feels a bit wet.”

Nathan: “Here, Patricia. Take some of mine. And let Wyld use his healing magicks on you.” 

Patricia looks at Mitch

{MiTcHelL: “I got plenty.”

kscully: “Luckily, that salve is mint flavor. I use it in cooking.” 

Mew: “Thank you for sharing.” 

Patricia struggles to her feet. 

Mew: “I think we’d best find some place to rest for the night.”

kscully: “Sounds good. We have time before the poor girl comes to an untimely end, and besides, we can’t continue much more without falling dead asleep.” 

Wyldling carries Patricia. 

Nathan tries to help Patricia up.

Mew: “I don’t think I can journey much farther. That pooka took a lot out of me.” *

kscully assists her, with occasional attention to her wounds. Mew: “Nathan, you are touching me?” Wyldling looks sleeply at everyone.”

Mew: “Too weak to levitate.”

Nathan: “Just offering you a hand up. I’d never touch without asking first.”

Wyldling: “We go inn now?”

Mew: “No, I mean you came within a foot of me. Yes, but I will need some help.” 

Wyldling helps Patricia.

Nathan: “Ok. I’m within a foot of you. You’ve never said that was a bad thing.”

The travelers notice a small building in the distance. A warm, inviting glow emanates from within.

kscully lends Patricia his staff, and supports her from the other side as his healing magics continue to work.  Finally, they approach the entrance.

Mew: “Ahem.”

kscully peers inside.

Mew: “Looks accommodating enough.” 

Patricia stumbles inside. 

kscully reads the name before entering.

Wyldling helps her inside. 

Nathan enters last…brings up the rear.

Nathan: “I’ll pay for the rooms. I just won the lottery, and you’re all here on my behalf anyhow.”

Mew: “We need food and drink and rooms for the evening. Thank you, Nathan.”

The innkeeper stops Wyld.

Innkeeper:“No pets allowed.” 

Nathan gives the innkeeper some $$$

Nathan: What pets?”

Wyldling: “Me Is not being a pet.”

kscully: “Oh, this isn’t a pet. This is my younger cousin. He frequently forgets to shave.” 

Innkeeper repeats: “No pets allowed. Everyone out. Except for the gal.”

postmike: *The innkeeper picks up a gun.*

Innkeeper) “She can stay.”

kscully: “Those ears are the result of an unfortunate accident with farm equipment. Fortunately, there was a skilled plastic surgeon nearby.” 

Wyldling pricks up his ears at the word shave. 

Nathan picks the man up by his collar.

Nathan:”What pet, again?”

Inkeeper) “And pay in advance!”

Wyldling: “GGrrooaan!”

Mew mutters: “The cellar is fine.” 

Wyldling shifs into a tiger.

Mew: “Why should anything be easy?” 

Nathan drops the nice man.

Nathan: “Thank you. That cellar looks to be worth about a hundred.” 

Nathan hands the man some money.

Mew: “We will be wanting dinner, though.And some mead.And some fish for the cat.” *

Wyldling goes outside to sleep inna tree.

kscully: “Go ahead. Count the fleas personally. I doubt you’ll find one.”

Mew: “Please. Let’s not argue. I am too weak for this right now. Wyld, come on, boy. Come with us.” 

Wyldling looks back at the mention of fleas.

Nathan: “I don’t see any argument. I see a nice, civil transaction.”

Mew: The group moves down into the damp cellar. 

Wyldling goes with the party.

Wyldling shifts into pooka form again.

Mew: “Arthur, can you produce some light please?”

Nathan carries Wyldling protectively.

kscully snaps his fingers, and the end of his staff begins to glow.

postmike: “Who wants guns?”

Wyldling: “Is it a distaff?”

kscully gasps as the light reveals a postman lurking in the basement!!

Mew: “Go get him, boy!”

Wyldling: “Me?”

Mew: “Please. Chase off the evil postman. He frightens me.”

postmike: hehe

DrNate: “Now now, Mew…Nothing frightens you, It’s plain to see.” 

Wyldling unsheaths his claws and leaps at the evil post man! 

postmike runs from the basement.

Mew: “I have faced demons before, but nothing scares me as much as the U.S. Postal System.” *

Patricia settles down on some straw.

Mew: “Nathan, are you all right?”

Nathan: “Yea, Ma’am. Are you going to make it, what with those wounds?”

Suddenly, Patricia has a vision!!!

Mew: “Oh no!”

Nathan croutches down close.

DrNate: “What? What do you see?”

Wyldling shifts into a white tiger and curls protectively around Patricia.

Mew: “Oh goodness, no! We haven’t much time. I know now what they are planning to do.”This is bad.”

kscully: “Why, what are they doing now?”

Mew: “Oh Nathan, I…I…” Patricia faints dead away.

Nathan stands. 

Wyldling snarls at the sent of the banal energies at work.

kscully: “Oh dear. I do think we’re is a spot of trouble, chaps.”

Nathan: “We are on a fool’s errand. Our lives can now be measured in hours.” 

The basement is quiet, save for the whispers of the men.

Wyldling: “We’s can do it, if we tries to.” 

kscully kneels beside Patricia and checks on her condition…”

Patricia awakens.

Mew: “Oh my. I had an awful dream.

Nathan: “We were married?” 

Mew: “This poor woman, this tender young woman was being…”

Patricia glares at Nate.

Mew: “It wasn’t a dream then!” 

Wyldling (Note) I’m now a white tiger, thanks;)

Mew: “Oh heavens, no! Nathan!”

Nathan: “What? What is it?” *

Patricia tries to stand, but falls back onto the White Tiger, leaving some drops of blood on his coat.

Wyldling: “Wahappa?!” 

Patricia reaches out for Nathan’s hand.

Mew: “You don’t understand!”

Nathan takes Patricia’s hands in his.

Mew: “What they are going to do to her is…”

Patricia faints again. 

Wyldling nuzzles Patricia sadly…

kscully works some minor healing magic on her

kscully: “Sorry, chaps. I can’t do much in that regard.”

Wyldling: “She needing blood?” * Patricia awakens.

Mew: “I need water.Blood? Who said blood?”

Wyldling: “Get water! Now!”

Mew: “I try not to. Not anymore.”

Wyldling: “Good.”

Nathan: “Someone go get some water! What is this, an open forum for debate?”

Wyldling: “NastyBad VampThings taking Wyld sister away, Me Hates them.”

Mew: “Besides, it would have to be the blood of a virgin…”

Nathan: “You sure you don’t want some blood?” 

Wyldling shakes in Rage!

Mew: “That is the only thing that could help me now.” 

kscully returns from the upstairs with a cup of semi-cold water. 

Nathan offers his wrist, and closes his eyes.

Mew: “Where would we find one of those?”

Nathan: “Just save Kiersten for me, ok?”

Wyldling: “No Nate No then you be one of them!” 

Wyldling steps between them. 

Turning toward Arthur, Patricia beckons him to prick Nate’s arm and fill a cup.

Mew: “Only if he’s willing. And only just enough.” 

Wyldling glares. 

kscully nods, and looks to Nathan before doing so with his belt knife.

Mew: “Are you okay with this, Nathan?”

kscully: “One last time. Do ye do this of your own free will, your blood for another, your life to aid theirs?”

Nathan: “Just Promise me you’ll carry on, that you’ll save Kiersten for me, ok?”

Mew: “Well, he’s not going to kill you, Nathan.”

Mew: “Just a few drops.” 

Wyldling watches Arthur, eyes glowing a lambent neon green…

Mew: “To make up for what I had lost unfairly.”

Patricia looks at Nathan.

Mew: “Thank you.” *

Wyldling bows his head in shame for what he did to Patricia.

DrNate: “It’s ok, Wyld. We all make mistakes. You were just acting on instinct. Was a good thing.”

Wyldling: “Was?”

Mew: “No, sweetie. ‘Twasn’t your fault. You were trying to help a friend.”

Wyldling: “I Baad :(” 

Patricia takes the cup, takes a deep breathe, grimaces, and drinks.

Wyldling: “Patricia: Taste bad?”

Mew: “No, it just represents everything I hate about my kind. I swore never again. Arthur, see to Nate’s wound.”

kscully: “Right.”

Patricia rip a piece of fabric from her skirt.

Mew: “Here, use this.”

kscully binds Nate’s wound well.

Mew: “I feel better.”

kscully: “It should heal quickly.”

Mew: “That was a great sacrifice, Nathan.”

DrNate: “Thank you.”

Mew: “You realize now we are linked for life.”

DrNate: “It was nothing, Patricia. Besides, I’d prefer it if all five of us made it through this alive.” 

Patricia’s eyes begin to glow red.

Mew: “Would you like to know what I saw?”

Wyldling ThE PoSt MaStEr ApPrOvEs Of ThE MsT DuNgEoN

End of Chapter 5