Session Start: Mon Oct 14 01:39:22 1996
Mew gets out the whip .
DrNate gets out the safeword.
It was a dark and stormy night.
AgentNate: Ok…to recap. Agent Nate gets his most annoying partner yet, an otherwise nice young lady who worked her way through spy training with a little nepotism and a Wonder Bra(tm).
Mew: Interesting, Nate…
AgentNate: The two are immediately put on a heart wrenching case, involving two castrations and a murder. Meanwhile, the enigmatic agent <ack! forgot!=””> and his partner kscully are put on a similar case, involving the castrated survivor, a boy named Peter who is suspected as part of a crime ring.
AgentWy: Wait, BRB…..gotta…go….use…..facilities… before…bladder…..xplodes..
Mew: Shatner takes a leak.
AgentWab: The lunatics .. are on the grass…
AgentWab: What are we waiting for again?
kscully: Wyld went to take his Shatnerleak.
AgentNate: Our heroes hit the road, and reach their destination quickly…
AgentNate: And now, Part 2 of Nate’s Action Theater 6000..
AgentWy beams back from facilitities inna cloud of little neon blue fizzies…..Ahhh feel better.
AgentDori stares at a shiny coin she found on the floor.
AgentNate: Ok…you all arrive at the Police Station where poor little Peter is being held. Anyone doing anything special?
AgentNate: “What ya got, Dori?”
Mew: “I don’t know. Looks like a quarter.”
AgentNate: “Cool. Good luck times twenty-five.”
Dori shows the coin to Nate.
AgentWy eyes Agent Dori with his only good eye….
AgentNate: “Everyone ready to go on in?”
Mew: “Nate, you mean I can keep it?? Kewl!” My first bonus. Now, where are we supposed to be going again? Los Anglophiles?”
AgentNate: “I think so, yes.”
AgentWy scratches around his eyepatch.
AgentNate: “We’re already at the appropriate police station, in fact.”
Mew: “Oh, okay.”
Dori continues to stare at the quarter.
Mew: “Look, Nate!. Minted in Denver!”
AgentNate holds the door for everyone, and ushers them in.
AgentWy: “ks: Let’s interrogate the prisoner.”
Mew: “Do you think it’s a clue?”
AgentNate: “Come on, kids. Let’s go.”
AgentNate: “That’s wonderful. But I don’t think so.”
Mew: “When do we get paid, by the way?”
AgentWy: “Let’s go.”
Mew: “I have a phone bill that’s overdue and stuff.”
AgentNate: “After we bring some a$$hole to justice.”
AgentNate is the last person in the building. You approach the officer at the front desk…
AgentNate is now known as ‘Officer.’
Officer: “Registering a complaint, or picking someone up?”
AgentDori is now known as ‘Prostitute.’
Prostitute: “Hey, detective! Over heya, sweetie! I like Dicks.”
Nate gives Doriana a sideways glance from the back of the group.
Nate starts filling in a request for a new partner.
Prostitue: “I’ll make it worth ya while if ya spring me from dis joint.”
Prostitute is now known as AgentDori.
Officer: “Young lady, you aren’t in this joint.”
Mew: “I just hate women like that.”
AgentWy glares at the hooker with his one good eye. “Hmmph.”
Officer: “Who are you people? What do you want?”
AgentWy: “Officer, we are here to interrogate the boy, Peter.”
Mew: “Ask him.”
Officer: “Oh, geez. That kid.”
Dori gestures toward Nate with her manicured index finger.
Officer: “That makes you…”
Officer searches through his files.
Officer: “…from the CBI?”
Officer hands you some papers.
AgentWy: “That it does.”
Officer: “Here’s the paperwork. He’s in holding cell #15. Have fun.”
Officer has a baliff escort you to the cell.
AgentWy reads the papers, carefully….
Officer is now known as AgentNate.
Mew: “What exactly is he ‘holding’.”
AgentNate: “You can guess what he isn’t holding…”
AgentWy: “ks: come on partner. ks,let’s talk to the punk.”
Mew: “That’s not nice, Natey.”
AgentNate: “Ok. Here’s the plan. Stop me if you disagree…”
AgentWab is the moderator.
Mew: “Disagree with what?”
AgentNate: “You guys go interrogate him, I’ll fill out the paperwork.”
AgentWy: (to GM) “What does the file say?”
Mew: “Me too?” Natey? Me too?”
Mew: “Natey, should I go too?”
AgentNate: “Wy: It is just a bunch of legal stuff…time and date of arrest, criminal record (he has none), list of things he’s suspected of stealing, medical files, release forms…Sure Dori. You go ahead. You seem to have a way with folks.”
Mew: “Should I go with the fuzzy guys, then?” Okay.”
Dori dances around in a circle, gets dizzy, and falls onto Nate.
AgentNate takes the paperwork, a pen, and sits down while the bailiff leads you away.
AgentWy gives the whole file to Agent Nate.
AgentNate: “Anyhow, Dori; he doesn’t have any testicles, so my interrogation method is out of the question.”
AgentNate: “Thank you, Wy. Have a good time.”
Mew: “Yeah, Nate. Mine too…”
AgentNate smiles at Dori. “You’ll think of something.”
Dori pauses, as if actually entertaining a thought.
Anyhow…the Bailiff takes the three of you to a jail cell. inside is a boy of about 16 years, with short dark hair, and bland prison garb. He sits hunched over on his bed, looking generally downcast… Dori looks at the boy sadly. The Baliff opens the door for you, and departd with a “Call me if you need anything.”
Mew: “Hey hon. What’s up?”
AgentNate is now known as Peter_.
Mew: “Oh! I’m so stupid!” Peter shies away from Dori.
Dori sits down next to the boy.
Mew: “How are you doing, babe?”
Peter_ moves away, to the other side of the bunk.
Peter_: “Don’t touch me. I don’t want anything from you. What ya doin, Wy?”
Mew: “May my friends and I speak with you?”
Peter_ is silent.
AgentWab: Am I just a cameo appearance?
Mew: “We’d like to find out something about what happened to you.” ‘
Wab: Anything you want.
AgentWab: hee hee hee…
AgentWy: “Peter: We are here to speak with you on the matter of an important case.”
Peter_: “I’m not talking about any of it. Especially not to YOU.”
Mew: “Will you talk to me, then, Peter?”
Peter_: “Hell, no.”
Mew: “See? No guns, no badge. Nothing.”
Dori partially disrobes. Nate would be sad he missed that.
Peter_: “NO! STOP THAT!”
Mew: “Just trying to make you feel comfortable, Peter.”
Peter covers his eyes. You can hear him start to cry.
Dori puts her hand on Peter’s shoulder. Peter shudders at your touch.
Mew: “Would you like one of the others to stay here instead?”
Mew: “I can leave.”
AgentWy: “Peter, you are suspected of being involved in a crime ring that my partner and I are assigned to gather information on.”
Peter_: “You’ll do whatever you want anyhow.” I told the cops. I stole that stuff myself.”
Dori adjust her bra. Nate will be sad he missed that, too.
Mew: “Are you afraid of something, Peter? Because I know what that is like.”
AgentWy: “Peter: Why did you steal it?”
Peter_: “I’ve already lost everything. What else is there to be afraid of?”
Mew: “Like, when I tried out for head cheerleader back in college. Boy, my knees were shaking!”
Peter_: “I needed money.”
Mew: “I almost dropped my pom-poms. Course, that bitch, Wendy, took full advantage and showed off in front of the judging committee. How I hated her! Still do…”
Peter_: “What’s your damn point?”
AgentWab: BBL!!!!! .. oh sorry.. hee.. was that one of my lines?
Mew: “To this day, I can’t spread my legs wide open without feeling like I’m doing something wrong.”
AgentWab plays the scene exiting theme.
Mew: “Point? Oh right. Well, I mean that fear is natural.”
AgentWy: “ks: Any questions for him?”
Mew: “How old are you, Peter?”
Peter_: “Why does it matter to you?”
Mew: “Why are you so hostile?” You have some balls to speak to me that way.”
Peter_: “Just admit it! You’re a cop, and you want something from me!”
Peter is now screaming and tears are cascading from his eyes.
Mew: “Well, yes, I am a police officer. But that doesn’t make me bad.”
Mew: “It’s not like I’m a postal worker, you know.”
Peter_: “Just tell me what you want!”
Mew: “I just don’t think you should be locked up in here if you are just a kid, that’s all. We want to know who did this to you. And why.”
Peter lowers his voice a lot
Peter_: “I promised I wouldn’t tell. Please leave me be.”
AgentWy just stands back to watch Agent Dori interrogate the perp, watching them and occasionally scratching under his eyepatch….
Mew: “Peter, maybe we can get you out of here. Would you like that? This is no place for a kid. Especially a terrified kid.”
Peter_: “No. Just leave me here. I don’t need anyone else to be nice to me.”
Mew: “Someone was ‘nice’ to you? You say that like it’s a bad thing.”
Peter_: “Well yeah. Look what happened to me.”
AgentWy: “Dori: Maybe it was…”
Mew: “Was it a man or woman, Peter?”
Peter_ is silent, and looks away from Dori and at the floor.
Dori lifts Peter’s head with her fingers.
Mew: “Was it a woman, Peter?”
Peter_ pulls his head away from Dori’s fingers and quickly retreats to the corner of his cell.
AgentWy watches Peter, so he can protect Agent Dori, should Peter attempt to harm her.
Mew: “No, no. It’s okay. He’s just spooked. I think I hit a nerve.”
Dori walks over to Peter.
Mew: “Cowering in the corner is not going to punish the person who did this.”
Mew: “Besides, I think this is bigger than we had imagined. I’m sure other young men will be harmed if you don’t speak up.”
With barely a whimper, Peter_ lays curled up in a fetal position.
Peter_: “Just leave me be.”
Mew: “Well, I give up. There’s not much more I can say. Peter, do you have a mother?”
AgentWy: “Peter: If you tell us we may be able to stop them….”
Peter_ is silent, except for the sobs.
AgentWy: “AgentDori: We’ll talk to the mother, then come back here and talk to him again.”
Mew: “Yes, that might work.”
AgentWy: “Dori: You leave first, I’ll follow….”
postmike hears the U2 song ‘I Will Follow’ in his head.
Dori starts to leave, balancing precariously on her black leather pumps…
The bailiff unlocks the door, and waits to re-lock it until Wy is out.
Peter_ is now known as DrNate.
AgtNate (meanwhile) has finished all his paperwork, and is trying to get away from an overzealous Christian who is convinced that the city’s crime wave is a sign that the end is at hand.
AgentWy stares at Peter intently for awhile, then leaves…
AgentNate: “Thank God! What happened?”
Mew: “We couldn’t get him to say anything, Natey.”
Mew: “Very frustrating. Almost as bad as the time I lost out to Wendy as head cheerleader.”
AgentNate: “Nothing at all, huh?”
AgentWy: “Yes, the boy is very scared of something.”
AgentNate: “You lost out as head cheerleader? I think we need a recount.” Mew: “Yeah, it bothered me for years.”
AgentWy: “Nothing, but Agent Dori and I are going to talk to his mother.”
AgentNate: “Can’t say that I blame him. I mean, he’ll never have kids. And odds are, he was forced into that situation, and will have to live with it forever.”
AgentNate: “There’s a plan, Wyld. Let’s roll.”
Agent_ks returns, seemingly out of nowhere…
Mew: “Well, actually, *no* man can have kids. It’s usually the woman who does that.”
AgentNate: “Well, father kids. You know what I mean.”
Mew: “What do you mean? You aren’t mean. A little annoying sure, but…”
AgentWy: “ks: Let’s go partner we’re going to talk to the boy’s mother.”
AgentNate: “Let’s get to the cars. Well, I mean, I would hate to not be able to father a child. It would just kill me.”
Mew: “I don’t know if I would want to father child who would kill me.”
AgentNate: “Of all the things I’ve ever wanted to do, having a kid is like the only thing I haven’t done. Well, there’s like invent my own flavor of ice cream, but I came up with that when I was nine.”
AgentWy jumps into the ks Mobile, him and ks drive to Peter’s mother’s house.
AgentNate lets Dori drive.
AgentNate is now known as Peter’s_mom.
Agent_ks fears for Agent Nate’s life…
Dori adjusts her makeup.
Petes_mom: “Why is that, ks?” Nate asks.
Petes_mom: “Who wants to do the talking this time??” Nate asks.
AgentWy: “Don’t worry partner. I’ll protect him.”
Dori stays outside and stares at some clouds.
Agent_ks: “Good man.”
AgentNate: “Dori! Come on in!”
Dori looks around confusedly.
Petes_mom is a woman of about 50 years. When she answers the door, she has a cigarette in one hand. The years have not been kind to this woman.
AgentWy goes and knocks on the door…
Petes_mom: “What do you want at this hour? Who are you people?”
Dori checks her ID.
AgentWy: “We’re here to speak to you about your son Peter, Ma’am.”
Petes_mom: “Who are you people?”
AgentWy: “I am Agent Wy and these are Agents Nate and Dori…”
AgentWy: “Of the CIA.”
Dori checks her ID.
Petes_mom looks at Dori’s ID.
Mew: “See? This is me.”
Petes_mom: “Well, all right. Come in. But you can’t stay long.”
Petes_mom shoos some cats off her couch, and turns Rosanne down.
AgentWy shows Pete’s mom my ID, too.
Petes_mom sits in a rocking chair, and makes no extra effort to cover herself with her bathrobe.
Petes_mom is now known as Elizabeth. )There. Now Pete’s mom has a name.)
AgentWy: “Nate: you’re the lead agent on this case. You talk.”
Dori sits quietly and stares at a lamp.
AgentNate: “Wasn’t my idea to come here, Wy. You talk.”
AgentWy motions ks to speak.
AgentWy: “Elizabeth: I have to ask you some questions that pertain to your son.”
AgentWy: “ks: never mind. I’ll handle this one partner.” </ack!>