Chapter III

CHAPTER 3
Life Is One Mean Mother


AgentDori: "Let's rock...".

Our heroes interrogated a castrated high school gang member, but got little information from him 
(or did they?) then moved on to his mother, whose appearance alone really explains why Peter turned
out the way he did.



Anyhow...
                                                                                         Chapter 3



 DrNate is now known as Elizabeth

Elizabeth sits in a rocking chair across from the couch upon which you all sit, and looks questioningly
in your direction.

Dori looks at a lamp.

Nate mutters "Someone ask someone a question"

AgentWy:  "Elizabeth: Was your son acting strange prior to his arrest?"

Elizabeth: "Of course he was. Always sneaking out, taking money from my purse, skipping school."

Elizabeth: "Punk has no respect for me, you know?"

AgentWy: "I see..."

Agent_ks: "*ahem* Er, Ma'am, was there any change in his behavior, or anything unusual that 
happened recently?"

Elizabeth: "What's recently? And anyhow, those *were* changes."

AgentWy: "Did he have any new friends that came to see him before his arrest?"

AgentDori begins to hum, "It's a Small World After All."

Agent_ks: "I'd say anything odd within the past six months would be helpful..."

Elizabeth: "No. No friends at all."

AgentWy: "*Pssst* Dori, have any questions to ask her?"

Dori adjusts her leather mini skirt.

AgentDori: "Hmm? Me?"

Elizabeth: "I keep tellin ya. He used to be such a nice young man! All of this is odd!"

Nate watches Dori.

AgentDori: "Damn, I hate these crotchless pantyhose."

AgentNate excuses himself to the bathroom "For just a minute."

AgentDori: "When did he start to go 'bad' Mrs..uh...Mrs.."

AgentWy: "Elizabeth: Did he have any new girlfriends?"

AgentDori: "You okay in there, Natey?!"

AgentNate: "Ok. Two minutes!"

Elizabeth: "No, I don't know about girlfriends."

AgentDori: "Any boyfriends?"

Elizabeth: "Started to go bad? Oh, after he visited his Uncle Jim. Didn't want to let him go, but the old 
man said get him out of the house for a few weeks; we can rekindle that 'old flame.' Old flame! Is one 
night considered rekindling the old flame? I don't think so!"

AgentWy: "About when did you first begin to notice these changes in your son?"

AgentDori: "Nate? You still in the toilet?"

Elizabeth: "Like I said, after he visited his uncle Jim's farm."

Agent Nate has considerable staying power...I mean, a large bladder, it seems...

AgentWy: "What happend after he got back?"

AgentDori: "Boy, these pantyhose are really ticking me off. 

Excuse me. If I can't use the bathroom, I'll just slip them off behind the couch."

AgentDori: "No one peek!"

Elizabeth:  "Like I said. He started sneaking out, taking money from my purse, skipping school..."

Groans indicating a struggle emanate from behind the sofa.

AgentDori: "There, now. That's better."

Agent_ks: "Uurm..."

Dori stands up.

Nate will be upset that he missed the groans.

AgentDori: "How far away is the farm from here?"

AgentWy: "And may we have his uncle's name, address, and phone number so we may contact him?"

Dori goes to the bathroom, opens the door, and throws the balled up stockings inside, hitting 
Nate's exposed  knees.

AgentDori "Sorry, Natey. Didn't know you were reading."

Elizabeth gives you the information, which you can also find in the file Nate and Dori have.

Elizabeth: "The farm is about a day's drive. In rural Idaho."

AgentWy: "Thank you for the information, Ma'am."

AgentWy: "Well, partner. Shall we visit this uncle of his?

Agent_ks: "Sounds logical. Yeah."

Elizabeth shows the four of you to the door.

Elizabeth: "Please, if you can, bring my son back...the one I loved. Bring him back to the way he was."

AgentDori: "Well, that might be a bit of a problem..."

Elizabeth is now known as AgentNate.

AgentWy and ks go to the ks mobile...

Agent_ks revs the engine and orders a pizza matter transmitted from base.

AgentNate: "Anyone want to do anything special on the way up to Idaho?"

Agent_ks: "Hmm...can't think of anything now, Nate."

AgentDori: "We're going to Idaho?"

AgentDori: "I hate potatoes."

Dori makesa frowny face.

{MITCHell: I love Idaho.

Agent_ks: "I  was born in Idaho, but got out before it warped me."

AgentDori: "So, it's safe to say that most of the evil in this world emanates from Idaho."

AgentNate: "I'm sure it isn't a potato farm, Dori."

Agent_ks: "Potatoes are the root of all evil."

{MITCHell:  No, LOVE of..oh never mind.

Agent_ks: "Or is that, 'roots'?"

AgentNate fiddles nervously with the radio.

{MITCHell: Love of potatoes is the root of all tubers?

AgentDori: "Nate, can I have pizza instead."

AgentDori: "Pretty please???"

* AgentNate fiddles nervously with the glovebox.

AgentWy: "I'm back."

AgentNate: "Sure Dori. Find a good pizza place and and we can stop."

* Agent_ks transmits a pizza over to the Natemobile...

AgentDori: "Oh, you want some too?"

AgentNate "Sure. We all gotta eat sometime."

AgentNate:  "If that's ok with you, that is."

AgentDori: "Natey, hon. I'm a little short on cash right now..."

Agent_ks: "Yay!"

AgentNate: "Of course you are. I'd insist on paying, anyhow."

AgentDori: "You're sweet."

AgentNate: "Seeing as how I make twice what everyone else around here does."

AgentDori: "I don't want anything like, dead, on mine, though.."

AgentNate suggests a little mom and pop's pizza joint just off the freeway.

AgentDori: "Natey, I wasn't aware that your parents were Italian."

AgentNate: "Italians-a talk-a like-a this-a! Do I talk-a like-a this-a?"

AgentDori: "Don't be racist, Natey. It's not nice:<"

AgentWy: "Partner, let's stick with Agent Nate. He might need us."

Dori entertains a thought.

AgentNate: "Ok...Pizza joint. Plain Cheese and veggie pizza for Dori. Lots of meat for Nate." 

Agent_ks: "Indeed. And that 'might' gets thinner all the time."

AgentDori: "Do any of you fellows think the reason for theupsetment today had anything to do with 
the castration?"

We go and join Nate and Dori in the pizza joint.

AgentNate: "For who? Peter or his mother?"

AgentDori: "Peter..."

AgentDori: "That would explain a lot."

AgentWy: "Yes,  it would..."

AgentDori: "Yeah, maybe."

AgentDori: "My head hurts..."

AgentNate: "I didn't see him, so I can't know for sure, but I certainly would be upset if I found 
out I couldn't bless the woman I will love forever with a child."

AgentDori: "Can I have a Diet Coke(tm)?"

AgentNate: "They only have Pepsi at this restaraunt.

AgentDori: "Yeah, well, we have ways of getting around that.

AgentWy: "As would I. I would love to bless my ma...er wife with a child. :{"

AgentNate: "I know, but I've never really liked adoption much."

AgentDori: "No, silly. I mean, just because you're husband is shooting blanks doesn't mean you can't
get someone else who will hit the target.".

postmike quotes "No Coke...Pepsi."

AgentNate: "It's just not the same."

AgentDori: "Well, if the lights are out..."

AgentNate: "Let's just eat, ok?"

AgentWy: "Yes. Let's."

AgentNate: "I don't even want to think about what kind of sicko bastard would do that kind of thing 
to a kid..."

AgentDori: "Well, not to the kid, Natey. To the potential mom."

AgentDori: "Silly."

AgentNate rolls his eyes, and eats some meat covered pizza.

AgentDori: "So, I wonder what happened to it?"

AgentWy: "Neither do I. It fills me with rage to hear about that kind of thing!"

AgentNate: "'It' what, Dori?"

AgentDori: "Sex is a beautiful, thing, guys."

AgentDori: "Peter's...peter."

postmike: heh

AgentNate: "It is...BUT only after marriage."

AgentNate: "Hm. I suspect most of it is still there, Dori. Don't tell me you people neglected to look."

AgentWy: "I know I did."

AgentDori: "No, I'm kind of shy."

AgentDori: "How come it wasn't reattached? I mean, did we really have to retain it for evidence?"

AgentDori: "That seems kind of nasty."

postmike: Exhibit A...Peter's peter."

AgentNate: "Um...They haven't recovered it." 

AgentNate: "Either of them. Peter's, Or the testicles of the man who died."

AgentDori: "Anyone ever had 'prairie oysters'?"

* postmike falls to the floor

AgentWy: "Hmmph."

AgentNate: "No..."

AgentNate: "Any of you guys ever think about dying?"

AgentDori: "I did go auburn at one point."

AgentDori:  "Got a lot of compliments, too. But I don't know."

AgentDori: "Blonde kind of suits me, don't you think?"

AgentWy: "Yes Dori, But we must continue to Peter's 

uncle's farm...."

AgentNate: "Sometimes, I get really worried that I'll die alone. And at times like those, I'd do 
anything to make sure I didn't." 

AgentNate: "You guys ever get like that?"

AgentWy: "Yes. But Nate, we agents have to stay together and protect each other...."

* Dori makes a frowny face.

AgentWy: "What's wrong, Dori?"

AgentDori: "All this talk about death."

AgentNate: "Just...you know...I dunno. I just get this feeling."

AgentWy: "It is depressing, But death is a part of the life cycle."

AgentDori: "No, it's more like the end of the life cycle."

AgentWy" "That is until you start your next life..."

AgentNate: "Anyway, let me cover our tab, and we can get outta here."

AgentWy: "Thanks, Nate."

AgentWy: ks: "Lets go." 

Agent_ks: "Right."

AgentNate: "Ok...one last bit."

AgentNate: "Does anyone want to do anything special while on the way up to Idaho?"

AgentDori: "That's kind of personal:<"

Agent_ks revs up the big black car and ks and Wyld leave in a cloud of dust, the engine's purr 
echoing behind them.

postmike: Count potatoes?

AgentNate: "If you're gonna do stuff like that,  Dori, why don't I drive?"

AgentDori: "Theses two spend an inordinate amount of time alone, don't you think, Natey?"

AgentWy calls HQ to get detailed info on Peter's uncle.

AgentNate: "I wouldn't worry about it. I couldn't seperate myself from my first partner. I was like 
a clingy little kid."

AgentWy: "HQ draws a blank on him. Drivers License, registered to vote, owns a few dozen acres of land."

AgentNate: "No criminal record; no prints; no mental illnesses."

                                                                                         End of Chapter 3