Chapter Seven

Session Start: Sat Oct 12 02:31:03 1996

Nathan! Hail!
It was a dark and stormy night…

Patricia looks around.

Mew: “So, we are all agreed, then?”

Nathan: “ZzzzzzzZZZZzzzZz” 

Wyldling plays with a big ball of yarn…

{MiTcHelL: “Agreed about what?”

kscully: “So must it be, for I have seen some of what you have seen.”

Mew: “Mitchell, we have a plan. Weren’t you paying any attention at all?”

{MiTcHelL: “Uhhh. Nope.”

Mew: “Why does this not surprise me?”

{MiTcHelL: “Sorry, I was watchin’ this spider over here. Run it by me one more time, I promise to listen this time. Last thing I heard was when you said ‘Mitchell, listen closely’.”

Wyldling: “Is everyone dead???”

Mew: “In order to get to the girl with our lives intact, we are going to do a little ‘playacting’.”

{MiTcHelL: “That’s sissy stuff!”

Mew: “I am going to pretend that I want my sisters’ forgiveness. Nate is to be a ‘peace offering,’ of sorts. My sisters will not be able to resist one such as him. They can smell a virgin from a mile away. The only problem is convincing them that I am sincere. This is where you and the others come into play. You might have to ‘rough him up’ a bit to look convincing.”

{MiTcHelL: “I ain’t hurtin my chum.”

Mew: “You shall pose as my hired, none too bright thug.”

{MiTcHelL: “Have Merlin put a spell over him so he looks roughed up.”

Mew: “Fine, Mitchell. Then he shall perish. There is going to be an escape attempt right before he is brought into the castle.”

kscully: “Hmm…”

Mew: “If you cannot do this then at least make an effort to be gruff. His life depends upon it.”

{MiTcHelL: “Gruff? Like unshaved?”

Mew: “And none too friendly.”

{MiTcHelL: “Well hell, that’s easy.”

Mew: “Don’t forget. My sisters shall have their eye upon you, also.”

{MiTcHelL: “Well they’ll see me before they smell me.”

Mew: “The one, Sharona, is especially bloodthirsty and extremely clever, no doubt. Ah, I see our kitty has returned.”

{MiTcHelL: “Well they’ll see me before they smell me. That’s all that was said.Oh. Looked at it wrong.What’s your sisters’ names again?”

Mew: “Starlene, Celeste and Sharona.”

I’ll send out another question to the group tomorrow

Patricia motions to the pooka. Wyldling: “What you wanting??” * Patricia scratches Wyld on the head. Mew: “Now, you remember what you may have to do?” {MiTcHelL: “Let’s quit all this jawin’and go kick some hinder!” * Wyldling purrs. “Yes playhurt Natefriend :)” Mew: “That’s right. Do you think you can do that?” {MiTcHelL: “I always get carried away, I’ll just talk real mean to him.” Wyldling: Yes, but not hurt Nate yes, can do.” Mew: “Perhaps that’s for the best.” Mew: “Your toga is open in the back, btw.” {MiTcHelL: “It’s supposed to be, I got it free.” * Wyldling blushes. {MiTcHelL: “It’s easier to kick in that way.” Mew: “And catches your foes offguard, no doubt.” {MiTcHelL: “They give ’em to ya at the hospital, they really do.” Mew: “Fine,, fine. I rather not hazard a guess as to what kind of hospital.” Nathan: “ZzzzzzzZZZZzzzZz.” kscully: “Yeep!” {MiTcHelL: “Well if it’ll make you feel better, I’ll tie it up.” * kscully shaves a target in Wyld. Mew: “Please do. We don’t want to traumatize Nathan anymore than necessary.” {MiTcHelL: “Oh like it’s *my* fault.” * The sun is coming up over the horizon. {MiTcHelL: Let’s go kick some butt, please.” * Wyldling regenerates his lost fur…Heh. Mew: “Someone will have to awaken Nathan.” Mew: “I would do it, but I’m afraid if he opend his eyes and saw me standing over him, he’d hyperventilate.” * Wyldling hits Nathan like a featherduster with his tail…. Nathan: “Zzzzz Zzzzzz.” Mew: “Let me get of out of view.” Wyldling: “Natefriend is wakey-wake now! :)” *Patricia yells loudly from the dark corner. Mew: “Do we have the ropes to bind Nathan?!” {MiTcHelL: “You people will never be action heroes.” * {MiTcHelL grabs Nate and throws him over his shoulder Nathan: “I didn’t hear my alarm clock, so I don’t have to be up.” Nathan: “Zzzzz Zzzzzz.” * Wyldling tickles Nathan with his tail again… Nathan: “GAH!” * Nathan sits bolt upright. * Patricia walks toward the others carrying some twine. Nathan: “I just had the most terrible dream! I was subbing for someone I met over the Intern…Where the heck am I?” Mew: “I was hoping we could have found something stronger than this.” Nathan: “What the-Who?” Nathan: Oh! I forgot! Damn!” Nathan: “Guys. I hate this. I want to go home.” Mew: “We all do.” Wyldling: “Nate wakey-wake now hehe…:)” Mew: “But there is the young woman to think about.” * kscully watches Nate struggle futilely against the cheese bonds… * Nathan curls into the fetal position. Mew: “And the implications of her captivity are far worse than any of us could have imagined.” Nathan: “I don’t want to do that any more. We can get the police, or the FBI or Mulder and Scully.” * Patricia approaches Nathan, rope in hand, and looks down at his cowering form. Mew: “This is far bigger than you could comprehend, Nathan.” Nathan: “That’s right. So we should all just leave this to professionals.” * Patricia looks Nathan squarely in the eye. {MiTcHelL: “He has a point.” Mew: “Fine.” {MiTcHelL: “Then again, I’m a professional killing machine.” Nathan: “In fact, just leave me here to die.” Mew: “But when this girl dies, and all hell is released on earth, I want no part in the blame.” Wyldling: “No, We’s now leave you!” * Patricia stands up and walks toward the cellar door. Wyldling: “We’s takes Natefriend with us save Natewoman.” Mew: “He wants to die. You heard him.” * Wyldling grabs Nathan and tries to drag him with us… Mew: “All that talk about his soul being joined with this girl. It was all so much nonsense.” Mew: “My sisters were correct. Human beings are no better than we are.”. * Nathan goes ahead and weeps. Mew: “When push comes to shove, they will always abandon each other.” {MiTcHelL: “Well duh!” * Wyldling still atempts to drag Nathan with us!! Mew: “And when Nathan is home, if indeed he makes it home, safe in his bed, he can remember the woman he sacrificed for his own ego.” Mew: “We cannot save her without him.” Mew: “And I will not even waste my efforts trying.” Wyldling: “I still go bring Natewoman back to him even if me’s die in proccess….” {MiTcHelL: “So we just go home or what?” Mew: “I am having another vision.” Mew: “One more before I leave.” Mew: “I see the girl. She is alone and afraid.” * {MiTcHelL digs around in his knapsack for a piece of jerky. * Wyldling realizing the futility of his actions slumps next to Nathan and cries too. * Nathan sniffles. Mew: “One word is forming on her lips, as a tear streams down her cheek.” Mew: “Nate.” Nathan: “You’d do that for me, Wyld?” {MiTcHelL: “I *knew* I put some jerky in here…” * kscully looks on with sad, ancient eyes… Nathan: “For her?” Wyldling: “Natefriend I stay with you if you not go.” * Nathan hugs Wyld. * {MiTcHelL slumps next to Nate on the other side and offers him a piece of jerky. Nathan: “Thank you. I was so afraid. I didn’t…I thought I was alone.” * Patricia approaches Nate. {MiTcHelL: “Hey fuzzy. Want some jerky chew?” * She kneels in front of him and takes his hands in hers. * Nathan holds on to Wyld and scoots back. Wyldling: “I’s *sob* *sob* hhelp nnnateFriend Waaaa! {MiTcHelL: “Merlin? Pat?” {MiTcHelL: “I got plenty.” Mew: “No thanks. I always lose my appetite on the eve of the Apocalypse.” {MiTcHelL: “Suit yerself.” Wyldling: “Patricia, what mean Tacolips???” Mew: “Nathan, there is only one way to get into that castle and get that girl out.” Mew: “Wyld: Mitchell is not quite like other people. You must try to ignore him.”. {MiTcHelL: “Her-de-friggin-har.” Mew: “If you don’t go along with this, make no mistake, she *will* die.” Wyldling: “Wyld want to know Tacolypse means???” Mew: “It means the end fo the world as we known, Wyld.” * {MiTcHelL looks at Art and says “I just hate ass-kickin on an empty stomach, that makes me bad?” Mew: “No, Mitchell. Your genetic make up is what does that.” Wyldling: “Ohh….that baad Natefriend help now??” Mew: “If Nate will not help his friend, we cannot either. We all have to work together.” Mew: “But he would rather sit here and feel sorry for himself.” than help this woman he professed to love only a few hours ago.” {MiTcHelL; “I vote we quit yakkin and start hackin.” * kscully shrugs. ‘Since when have I mocked thine slovenly, spill-producing, gaseous, noisy and annoying eating habits??” Mew: “I am weary of humans.”‘ {MiTcHelL: “See? He understands.” * Wyldling gives Nathan the big teary eyed puppy dog look to melt his heart and make him go… Mew: “Yes, Arthur is a prince…” * Nathan pulls his hands away from Mew.” {MiTcHelL: “Hey Nate, I’ll give ya guns.” * Nathan pulls his hands away from Patricia. Nathan: “I said I’d go, didn’t I? And don’t touch me.” {MiTcHelL: “I’ll even learn ya how to kick keester.” Mew: “Nathan, ’tis, is up to you.” Wyldling: “Nate go us?” {MiTcHelL: “It’s easy, and rewarding, too.” kscully: “I don’t believe she’d appreciate that, O Cheesy One.” Mew: “Mitchell. I look forward to this ‘keester thing’ you keep talking about…” * Patricia rises and wipes her hands on her skirt. Wyldling: “I’s go and lick keester, too.” Mew: “Lets do it.” {MiTcHelL: “Well *some* people are pretty damn long-winded.” {MiTcHelL: “Yeahhhh!” Mew: “And *some* people have to keep talking in order to move the narrative along.” Nathan: “And *some* people are a pretentious bunch of snobs.” {MiTcHelL: Hey Nate, what kinda gun you want?” Wyldling: “TogaCheese teach Wyld lick keester too?” {MiTcHelL: “Sure, fuzz ball.” Nathan: “Anyhow, that aside, I have a plan…”

End of Chapter 7