Chapter Six

snoopSession Start: Thu Oct 10 01:35:26 1996

The Cheese Stands Alone
It was a dark and stormy night. 

{MiTcHelL changes topic to “Hooks and chains and cooties. Oh my!”

Nathan: “That cinches it. I’m moving to the desert. I hate these dark stormy nights.”

{MiTcHelL: “Wait, SNOOPY is writing this?”

kscully: “Right. Got nice bright nights there”.

Mew: “Yes.” 

Patricia is troubled, and cannot sleep.

kscully: “Hmm… 

{MiTcHelL gets his ginseng and vitamin E ready.

Patricia arises.

{MiTcHelL: “Have some ginseng, put you right out…it does everything.”

Nathan: “Get some sleep. You’ll need it tomorrow.” 

Wyldling stirs and wakes with a purr like a DC-10. 

Nathan has been keeping watch.

Mew: “Yes, but Mitchell has been missing for hours. I can still hear his voice in my head.” 

kscully switches his polarity to a DC +10.

Mew: “It’s as if he is right above me. Somehow.”

{MiTcHelL: “ooOOOooOOOooooo Hey, guess who!”

Wyldling looks up…

Patricia jumps ten feet in the air.

kscully: “Flying Cheese!”

Mew: ” I..I thought you had been killed.”

{MiTcHelL: “Nope.”

Mew: “Yes, but we turned and you were gone, What was that blood-curdling scream?”

{MiTcHelL: “Funny, even mold gone bad requires an ass-kickin.”

Mew: “Oh well, I guess I’m glad to see you.”.

Wyldling licks his chops at the werecheese:9

Mew: “Down now, kitty!”

{MiTcHelL: “Back it up pal, I got new tricks.”

kscully: “Better change back into human form, old chap.”

{MiTcHelL: “I can shoot noxious spores and stuff.”

Mew: “Oh, grand…”

{MiTcHelL: “I can go half, too. Watch this…”

Mew: “Half?” 

Wyldling backs off at Patricia’s command.

{MiTcHelL grows two legs and a head.”

kscully: “Half man, half cheese?! It can’t be done!”

{mitchell* LOL

kscully: “Ah, head cheese.”

{MiTcHelL: “Au contraire! I AM THE CHEESE.”

Wyldling: ks: Oh no. Werecheese Crinos..form.”

{MiTcHelL: “It ain’t easy being cheesy.”

{MiTcHelL pops back into human form with a slurping noise.

Mew: “Well, being a foodstuff is all well and good, but this isn’t helping our situation any.” 

Wyldling walks upstairs saying “Me potty now. BRB…

Patricia notes she can now visualize what Nate is dreaming.

Nathan: “Yeah. I know what will help.”

{MiTcHelL: “No, but I did save a cheese colony from being ravaged by evil bacteria.”

Mew: “That’s commendable, I suppose.”

{MiTcHelL: “Plus I can slime thru keyholes and stuff…better than nothin.”

Mew: “Nathan, that is not a good idea.” 

Patricia ponders.

{MiTcHelL: “I can lure you a bunch of rats if you need blood. I’m cheese, ya know.”

Mew: “I don’t hurt animals, Renfield.”

{MiTcHelL: “So take a drink and don’t kill em..catch and release.”

Mew: “I think we might have to leave here before dawn. You’ve been watching the Sportschannel a bit too much, my friend.”

kscully: “That might be best.”

Mew: “Nice toga, btw.” 

{MiTcHelL pops into cheese form with little cheese arms and legs and a smiley face, dances and says:

{MiTcHelL:”Come here ratties; come get the cheese man”

Wyldling comes bounding down the stairs like a big kitten and bowls Patricia over…

Mew: “Hmpphh.”

Patricia notes all the cat hair she is going to have to clean off of her black dress.

Mew: “Is Nathan asleep?”

Wylddling: “Hehe me’s potty in InnThing’s StillQuiet flowers…Hehehe”

Nathan has dozed off, now that others are awake to keep watch.

Mew: “Good boy;) I have been catching bits and pieces of his dreams. Only the strong ones, though. Hmm. He seems very troubled.”

Wyldling lays on Patricia and just purrs…

Mew: “And for some reason, I keep seeing jumper cables…Sometimes, I think it would be more merciful to just bash his head in with a rock, right now.”

Wyldling: “No no no not kill NateThing is Wyld’s friend no :(” 

Patricia walks over to the prone body of Nathan.

{MiTcHelL: “Hey! Get off him.” Mew: “No, I’m just thinking aloud.”

{MiTcHelL pops back into heavily armed, togaed human form. 

Wyldling moves off Patricia as she gets up.

Mew: “If Starlene, Sharona and Celeste get a hold of him, it would be far worse.” 

Wyldling sniffs Mitch.

MiTcHelL: “Back off.”

Mew: “Maybe we should tie Nathan up and leave him here where it will be safe. Then again, we need a human to save the girl.”

Wyldling: “TogaThing smell like Cheeses…Hehe:)”

Mew: “No one else fits the description.”

Wyldling: “Me like cheeses, KraftThings are good :9”

Mew: “Does anyone have any ideas for a plan of attack?” I have a plan in mind, but it seems so risky.”

{MiTcHelL: “Risk, shmisk.”

kscully: “Oh, do share. I’ve always been impressed by your plans.”

{MiTcHelL: “They work oh so well.”

Mew: “Don’t be so quick to shrug this off, Mitchell. If Celeste gets her claws in you, there’s no telling what tortures she’d impose upon you.” 

Wyldling shifts from tiger form to Pooka form….*POOF* ( with blue fizzies )

kscully: “Of course, they always do end up severely harming someone. But that is the cost of things.”

Mew: “Good kitty. Well, I know my sisters are hungry for something, how shall we say, ‘new’.”

Wyldling: “Me’s just wants to help Friends…”

Mew: “They just simply can’t resist someone pure. We could use Nathan as bait. Then at least we could get behind castle walls. And present him, along with my ‘band’ as a peace offering.”

Wyldling: “No use cold iron metals Kay ;)”

Mew: “They would avoid Arthur because he is a Magic User. And the Pooka is a pooka.” Mitchell is too..well..too ‘dried up’ for them.”

Wyldling: “What that is meaning… Huh?”

Mew: “So they would believe me when I say I hired him because he has no morals.”

{MiTcHelL: “Dried up? Am not!”

Mew: “Arthur, you might be the problem. They know of you.”

Patricia smells parmesan.

Mew: “They know you are not evil.”

{MiTcHelL: “No! Brie!”

kscully: “This is so.”

Wyldling: “Patricia: What meaning Pooka is pooka….huh?”

Mew: “My sisters have no interest in cats. Unless we tell them you are trying to win my affection…”

Wyldling: ” “Oh, is good…Huh?” Then what they do?”

Mew: “Wyld, you will have to do something not too nice to help Nathan. My sisters are very clever”.

Wyldling: “What I gots to do?”

Mew: “We can bring him to the castle bound, but to make it look realistic, Nathan will have to attempt an ‘escape’. You will have to chase him down and mark him a bit.”

Wyldling: “How I help??” Oh, can do that.”

Mew: “Not as bad as you did to me, mind you, but enough to make it look like he was trying to esacpe.”. There can be no slip ups or we are all doomed. Unless someone has any other ideas?”

Wyldling: “I’s still sorrys but I play hurt NateFriend okie:9”

Mew: “Good kitty. Mitchell, do you think you can play a deranged psychotic with absolutely no morals or sense of human decency?”

{MiTcHelL: “Can’t we just plug ’em? Um.”

kscully could put on a bit of a disguise…

{MiTcHelL: “I’ll do my best.”

Mew: “Yes, later. You can, as you say, ‘plug em’.”

{MiTcHelL: “Just be warned. You say none, I’m gonna be none.” 

{MiTcHelL turns his head into a cheese sculpture of Charles Manson.

{MiTcHelL: “I’m in your HEAD MAN.”

Mew: “I don’t like that grin on your face.”

{MiTcHelL: “Do I gotta stay non-cheese?” 

Wyldling licks over his teeth and sharpens his claws…

Mew: “Well, I would prefer for a bit. That might be a secret weapon, so it’s best to keep it secret.” *

{MiTcHelL flicks Wyld’s ear.

{MiTcHelL: “Okay.”

Wyldling bats at Mitch’s hand (lightly).

kscully: “Do not mess in the affairs of cats, for thou art cheesy and chewy.”

Mew: “Agreed then?”

{MiTcHelL: “

ks: wonk wonk wonk.”

{MiTcHelL: “I aint chewy now.”

kscully: “Indeed.”

Mew: “Nathan is dreaming again.”

{MiTcHelL: “Four score and seven pickled eggs.”

Mew: “Such a troubled mind for one so young.”

Wyldling: Yes, is so sad:(”

{MiTcHelL makes his index finger into cheese.

Patricia looks away in disgust. 

{MiTcHelL makes his finger elongate.

Mew: “I just hope Nathan can pull this off.”

{MiTcHelL: “I’m a sensible whirlybird.”

Mew: “He is going to bear the brunt of the acting, after all.”

End of Chapter 6